i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
