So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize