i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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