In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
