I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
