i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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