Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
