she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
