Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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