haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
