This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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