I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my phone needs a breathalizer
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
