I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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