We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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