I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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