youre lurking in front of me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
