i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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