Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
