i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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