btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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