i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
