you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i dont even know how to be here
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
