Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Alive.
So much puke
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
