so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
