Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
