Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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