Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
