haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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