So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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