he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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