At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
