I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
