wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
