So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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