Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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