Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
