I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
should my penis look like a turkey
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
