his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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