did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
