how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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