And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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