I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
