One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
