You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's blow job season.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
