the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
