Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
