You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just invented taco cereal.
Houston, we have a blender
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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