i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
