one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
sex in a hospital.. check
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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