I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
